Building of Self Confidence

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Oh my good god, if I had a penny for every time I've heard people go on about not having self confidence I'd be writing this article on a golden keyboard. If you are wondering how to get yourself some of that confidence stuff so many people are talking about, then I will tell you how you can get some.

The very first thing we have to realize is that there is NO confidence outside. There is NO fear, worry or anything else along those lines in the outside world so stop thinking they are things outside of your control…they're not even outside of yourself.

Know who the bloody hell you are!

The first step in learning how to build self confidence is by getting to know more about who you really are. Most of the time, low self-confidence comes as a result of giving too much weight to other people's opinions and allowing exterior circumstances to determine your self-worth.

We know that life would be so much easier if we were much more confident in our own abilities, and of course, in ourselves. This is true, but because we look at our reactions to outside stimulus and how it affects our ability to be ourselves completely, we have been brainwashed into believing that it is because of these outside influences that our confidence is low in the first place. This is simply not the case.

We are very confident around certain people in our lives, like our parents, brothers and sisters, girlfriend or boyfriend and so on… Why is this? Well of course you already know why, it is because we feel more comfortable around these people and as a result we are free to be who we really are, we tend to be ourselves more. This is all the proof anybody needs to understand that low confidence comes from being afraid to be ourselves. We put on social masks to hide our true selves from others when in fact it is this mask that contributes the most to people's low self esteem issues.

The first step is simple, it takes time, but it s very simple. Get to know who you really are, and distance yourself from the social status you try so hard to live up to. Start finding ways to turn these distractions off and start getting to know what's really going on inside your head. A great way to do this is writing down your thoughts and asking yourself what's really important to you.

The more you do this, the more you'll find that building self-esteem is a process of self-discovery more than it is a process of trying to become someone else. It's also a good idea to start studying the science of how your body works, how your mind works and all of the complexities within, this will help you to develop a greater appreciation for who you are and will restore a sense of awe and wonder about yourself.

You'll also find that the better you understand yourself, the easier it will be for you to follow the second step to building self-confidence.

Who is the controller?

The second key to building self confidence is by learning to take control of your mind. I tell people time and time again that they are not their minds, they are the controllers of the mind. Controlling what thoughts originate in your mind is your responsibility. You are the one who makes all the decisions, from your thoughts, actions, reactions and what beat your inner dialogue marches to. you are the controller.

This part of the process can only be achieved through deliberate training. I can almost guarantee that at least 90% of the population do not do this. It's so easy to not do this, it's very easy to just wake up each morning and mechanically go through the same habitual patterns without much conscious effort. We have become masters of automatic living. We can even drive a bloody car from point A to point B without being consciously aware of our surroundings, we get there, so what's the problem? Well the problem is that our mind filters out nearly all of the information it is being subjected to from one moment to the next. After a while our mind will only see what it has been trained to see.

The Law of Attraction works solely on this principal. Forget about the film "the secret" it's not important to try and understand how all this works, it's a scientific fact. Our minds will only look for circumstances, situations, people and whatever else that correspond to the habitual thought patterns it has been subjected to for a sustained period of time. If you think you're not good enough…guess what, your mind will filter the information it is being subjected to and produce for you (the master) exactly what you have been telling it to.

Now you can begin to see why it is so important to reprogram your subconscious filtering system by feeding it continuously with what you really and truly want. If you are low on confidence then that's exactly what your mind will instinctively search for in the outside world giving you the illusion that the control is on the outside. In a way it's like the chicken and the egg, but the fact is that the reason you are low on confidence is because you have identified with this issue on such an intimate level that you have convinced yourself that it is who you are.

Some people are naturally confident, they were not brought up that way, they were just programmed with a different belief system from an early age and identified with it. The great thing here is that it is not hereditary, it is just a program. Change the program by gradually inserting thoughts of power into your mind each day. When you notice a self defeating thought enter your mind, replace it immediately with an opposite thought. Affirm to yourself each and every day that you are the controller of your reactions and you are going to take full control of your mind back. 

Shyness is a big problem for a lot of people and if you ask any really shy person why it is that they get embarrassed so easy they will find it difficult to give you a clear answer. The answer is simple, they don't even get a chance to calm themselves when faced with an embarrassing moment because there's no conscious thinking involved, it is an automatic response put forward instantly by the subconscious mind.

Some guys will go red and get extremely shy when a girl talks to them, did they have a chance to compose themselves before hand…no, of course not, it's an automatic response because they have performed the task of telling themselves that they are shy around other people too many times. If this is a problem for you then it is important that you STOP thinking you can't change this pattern, you most definitely can. Start by being more aware of your mind, yourself and your surroundings.

Realize that you live in two worlds simultaneously and the outside world is nothing more than a reflection of how you have cultivated your inner world. Remember, every bit of information you have accepted as true over the years is not really true. It is no more, or less, than what you have perceive it to be. You can be exactly who you want to be.

Your brain is at this moment, filtering out most of the information around you, use this knowledge by consciously being more aware of your feelings, thoughts, inner dialogue and everything around you for as much of the time as possible. Believe me, you will begin to notice things that were right under your nose all the time. Eventually your mind will filter out less and less with each passing day and your awareness will soar.

Give Yourself to others

As you start getting to know yourself better and learn to control yourself, you'll instinctively start looking for a way to use your new sense of confidence to make a contribution to others. This is because the need for contribution is a spiritual need which gives someone a sense of purpose and boosts their understanding of their own value.

Think about it, most people who are insecure are also in the habit of withdrawing from others through something known as "self rejection." But finding a purpose which allows you to make a contribution to other people helps you to get outside of yourself and stop focusing on your own insecurities and hardships.

The more you practice these three steps, the more you'll become your best self…the person you've always known in your heart that you were. Then, you'll become an inspiration to others as your life becomes a representation of the principles of how to build self confidence.
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